Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for: all the people in my life who love me. those who hate me, or at least don't like me. God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Creation. agriculture. wind amidst silence. squash. women. well-written, melodic music. beards. long hair on women. the Christian hope of resurrection, of the life of the world to come. church. holy scripture. baptism and communion. prophets, like Wendell Berry, Shane Claiborne, Mother Teresa, St. Francis of Assisi, Isaiah, Jesus, Ghandi, John Howard Yoder, John Wesley, Adam Thada. good theology. ratatouille. good friends. good listeners. the insights of modern psychology. medicine. female vocalists. education. saints, real people (now and then) who imitate Jesus Christ, especially his love. any human source of truth. all my friends who are doing things that I am not yet doing, but want desperately to do. peacemakers. farmers. technology. those who serve and live with the poor (I want to join you). humor and laughter. the government, when they serve the common good. tomatoes, onions and peppers. cabbage. beans. things that keep us warm. bicycles. feet. public transportation. libraries. learning other languages. locks. open doors. common trust. generosity. answered prayers. unanswered prayers. colors. artists. poetry. words expressing previously unspoken realities. martyrs. beds, couches, chairs, mats and cushions. simplicity. self-denial. order. flowers. pineapple, strawberry, banana, grape. rain. quiet. peace. struggle. emergency services. water.

Dear Friends,

It has been a while since I have posted.  I'm not very good at having anything worth writing from week to week.  I hope you might enjoy a brief reflection on the boring haps and mishaps of my current life.

I am still studying for my fifth (and hopefully final) year at Indiana Wesleyan University.  I am still struggling to learn how to live life well, and most weeks I only hope to come away with some sense of survival.  I am attempting to try my best at school, despite my frequent failures (small and large), in hopes of improving my overall skill at these beloved academics.  I think I am too comfortable.  If I am to succeed, I will be stretched by the work school requires of me.  Maybe I have been taking life too easy?

I have lost quite a bit of confidence as pertains to my future in ministry.  I suspect this has to do with my lack of present involvement in ministry.  I seem to have lost a vision for God's call on my life.  This I must recover, by God's grace.  

I am also trying to open myself up to the fullness of grace the Lord has to offer us.  Though I often fail, I desperately desire to experience and share God's immeasurable love.  I want a deeper, joy-filled life, animated by the Holy Spirit, full of grace and good fruit.  So I suppose I need a lesson in abiding in Christ.  Perhaps I ought to focus on serving others, so as to take the attention off my own growth.

I also work about 15 hrs. per week at Steak n Shake.

That's it -- my life, for now.

Lord, have mercy.  

at the hands of soldiers

Jesus my savior was patient, suffered and died at the hands of soldiers doing their duty. And he forgave them and prayed for them.

Terrorism

Last night ABC news published a story about Europeans training with al-Qaeda. This raised particular concern because it posed a new kind of terrorist threat: caucasian terrorists. The new concern, of course, is that it will be more difficult to detect terrorists in airports among the throngs of people, as they will no longer be able to "racially profile" who is more likely to be a terrorist. If my understanding of "this new kind of threat" is wrong, please forgive me. My understanding of the nuts and bolts of "this new threat" illustrated several points for me, and raised several serious issues in my mind.

- If racial profiling is wrong, nevertheless this has been one of our tactics all along in attempting to detect airline terrorists. Otherwise white terrorists would pose no new threat. They would just be other violently-intentioned humans whom we cannot easily detect. However, if we have been expecting terrorists to be from the Middle-east, this means we have been prejudiced against persons of this origin.

- Prejudice against persons of Middle-eastern origin has led to a general and national fear of and racism against them. This can be detected in unintelligent conversations where you hear something like, "People from that ancient culture are prone to violence, and they don't understand how to settle a conflict." We label them as barbaric and think we are superior to them, more 'cultured.' This notion is preposterous. What hypocrites we are! Who would label them barbaric when our response to the September 11th tragedy has been just the same if not worse in its reasoning, execution and outcome? What is not terrible about the war in Afghanistan and Iraq? Is our war any better just because we don't call it jihad? Is our war not terrorism because we have called it "shock and awe"? Lord, have mercy on us for our sins! We irresponsibly let September 11th incite us to fear, anger, and then violent retaliation, instead of grief over the violence as well as the deaths, and to prayer. God, Iraq and Afghanistan, please forgive us for the wars we have made.

When I heard about this story, I was grieved that Europeans were joining al-Qaeda. This led me to ask, 'Why am I not grieved by the fact that a few Muslims comprise their ranks? Why does the majority number of al-Qaeda not grieve me just as much as Europeans joining them?' Because I have been racist. I have presumed that 'we can expect extreme behavior from those people.' I beg all people from the Middle-east, and all Muslims to forgive me for such thoughts. +We ought to be grieved when anyone trains for war or violence against their fellow humans.+

Pithy thought by yours truly #3

"When all you see is made by man,
it is hard to believe in God."

Of Worry

"Cease from an inordinate desire of knowing,
for therein is found much distraction and deceit."
-Thomas a Kempis

+++

I have to laugh

at you, worry;--

who are you

but a demon

I have listened to?

Of things unfinished,

undone,

unbegun;

Of incompletes,

thoughts just conceived;

Of inconceivables

and things unseen;

Unknown,

unshown,

unowned;

Not been

nor shall ever

be for me.



I hate you both:

not mine this time, and

no peace in pining.



And so I hope.

+++

"May those who say to me, 'Aha! Aha!'
turn back because of their shame."
-Psalm 70:3

" . . . but my ears you have opened;" Psalm 40:6

Shhh . . .

. . . listen.

Shut the mouth,
open the ear,
be attentive,
and believe.

Trust.

Then love
and obey.


Deuteronomy 6:4
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.

Psalm 141:3
Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD;
keep watch over the door of my lips.

Proverbs 10:19
When words are many, sin is not absent,
but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 18:13
He who answers before listening—
that is his folly and his shame.

Proverbs 19:20
Listen to advice and accept instruction,
and in the end you will be wise.

Proverbs 19:27
Stop listening to instruction, my son,
and you will stray from the words of knowledge.

Psalm 95:7b-11
Today, if you hear his voice,

do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah,
as you did that day at Massah in the desert,

where your fathers tested and tried me,
though they had seen what I did.

For forty years I was angry with that generation;
I said, "They are a people whose hearts go astray,
and they have not known my ways."

So I declared on oath in my anger,
"They shall never enter my rest."

Matthew 12:33-37
"Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

James 1:19-27
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

+New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society+

Just a Taste

I've been reading some great poetry by my friend Austin Givens, from his new book I Cry Enough for My Father and other poems. Here's a sample:

On How To Be Human

"I" being the

host tree,

"You" the

ruthless banyan

and soon "I" become "We."

and "You" much bigger then "me."

--------------------------

Read more, buy, download Austin's book here.

An Open Letter to My Favorite Poets and Musicians

Dear Away With Vega, Rodeo Ruby Love, Owlsburg, Frank Schweikhardt, Austin Givens, mewithoutYou, Anathallo, Switchfoot, Chris Tomlin, RelientK, and Delirious?,

This past week I boldly sang your songs and quoted your lyrics to people whose situations related to them. And they loved them. So much. I was dumbfounded, but I should not have been.

So, to you, for you, because of you, at you: wow. You are amazing. Thank you for writing beautiful music and honest lyrics from your hearts. You are changing me, changing others, or at least poetically communicating what we ourselves cannot say, will not say, refuse to say, or want so desperately to say, either ignorantly or knowingly. Thank you.

In Jesus' love and peace,
your brother Scott H.

THE WAY OF THE HEART by Henri Nouwen

I recently read Henri Nouwen's 1981 publication The Way of the Heart: desert spirituality and contemporary ministry (Seabury). Not wanting to forget what I learned, I thought I would summarize the book here.

Nouwen asks, "The pressures in the ministry are enormous, the demands are increasing, and the satisfactions diminishing. How can we expect to remain full of creative vitality, of zeal for the Word of God, of desire to serve, and of motivation to inspire our often numbed congregations? Where are we supposed to find nurture and strength?" He suggests we ask the desert fathers.

Nouwen draws from the Sayings of the Desert Fathers of the 4th and 5th Centuries, who moved to the desert in Egypt to become hermits (from the Greek word for desert). After Christianity became legal in the Roman empire and persecutions of Christians had ceased, many faithful sought after new ways to 'witness' (meaning of 'martyr') for Christ. Many followed the example of St. Antony. While at church, Antony heard Jesus' command to the rich young ruler: "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." Antony took it to heart for himself, sold most of his wealth and moved to the edge of town, after which he sold all he had, moved to the desert to 'flee the world,' to find God and pray continually.

As an outline for his text, Nouwen uses the story of Arsenius, who asked, "Lord, lead me in the way of salvation." He heard a voice say, "Arsenius, flee from the world and you will be saved." So he moved to the desert to live alone. Having prayed the same prayer again, he heard a voice say, "Arsenius, flee, be silent, pray always, for these are the sources of sinlessness." Hence Nouwen examines the three disciplines of solitude, silence and continual prayer.

Solitude. In order to flee compulsive living and our false selves, we may flee everyone, find ourselves alone with God, and enter into conversation with Him, in whose image we were created. There we may take off our masks, be seen for what we really are, and be remade into a new creation. We don't flee just for privacy, but to be alone with God just as his Son Jesus did in his days on earth. "The goal of our life is not people. It is God. Only in him shall we find the rest we seek" (40).

The result? Compassion. This pattern is evident in the life of Christ, as it was in the life of his servant Antony, who after twenty years alone in the desert was a new man. Returning to civilization, "Those who saw him described him as balanced, gentle, and caring. He had become so Christlike, so radiant with God's love, that his entire being was ministry" (32). As we return from lonely places, we will have found space in our hearts for the world loved so dearly by God. We will then be able to love others as God has loved us.

Silence. It is hard to imagine the world before the advent of the printing press. Words were harder to come by in print, and most people were illiterate. Today our world is full of so many words that we become distracted from what really matters, and often feel the loss of meaning in what people say. God himself has much to say about silence in the scriptures. "When words are many, sin (lit. 'error, wandering, missing the mark') is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise” (Proverbs 10:19). See also James 1:19-27, and 3:1-12.

"Pilgrimage is silence," the fathers said. To flee the world and sin, be silent. Silence also guards the fire within. Our hearts are like saunas or cabins with a hearth. The longer the door of our mouth is open, the more warmth is let out. Do you want to keep your spiritual fervor? Let your words be few. "[T]oo many words . . . weaken our faith and make us lukewarm. But silence is a sacred discipline, a guard of the Holy Spirit" (56). Silence also teaches us to speak. "Silence is the home of the word. Silence gives strength and fruitfulness to the word. We can even say that words are meant to disclose the mystery of the silence from which they come" (48). Without silence, no one (including ourselves) will ever believe or care about what we have to say.

Continual Prayer. We flee people to be with God, and are silent to hear him. Solitude and silence provide the place for prayer. The apostle Paul said, "...pray continually...for this is what God wants you to do in Christ Jesus" (1 Thess. 5:17 and 18b). But how?

Nouwen notes that we often think of prayer as a mental exercise. Instead, the desert fathers learned that after prayers have been continually upon our lips, they easily enter into our hearts, where we may pray them with our whole selves, in earnest. Nouwen suggests:

1) The prayer of the heart is nurtured by short, simple prayers. Choose any phrase from scripture, such as "The Lord is my shepherd, I lack no thing," or "Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me." These are easily remembered and easily repeated.

2) The prayer of the heart is unceasing. Don't say it once and stop. Instead, repeat it throughout your day. When we say something repeatedly, we begin to believe it, whether it's true or not. Why not have God's truth always upon our lips? We don't repeat it thinking God will hear us better if we say it over and over again. We repeat it to let it move from our lips to our mind, and finally into our heart. Then we can own the prayer, and perhaps even stop speaking it aloud as we repeat it often in our heart to the Lord. "Pray without ceasing."

3) The prayer of the heart is all-inclusive. While we could probably never list all our needs before the Lord (that would take forever), we can bring to him all our needs with a few words. This is what Jesus gave us in the Lord's prayer. In just a few words, we can ask God for all our needs, and for the needs of the whole world. Don't pray "My Father," but "Our Father . . . give us our daily bread . . . forgive us our sins . . . do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil." In this way, we can pray for the whole church and the whole world. Are these too big for God? Certainly not. Instead of praying "God, be merciful to me, a sinner," say, "Lord, have mercy on us," and thus direct your prayer for all whom God cares for.

I posted this because I found these thoughts refreshing. "Lord, lead me in the way of salvation."

"Flee, be silent, and pray always, for these are the sources of sinlessness." While few of us will become hermits for life, we ought to work these principles into our lives to find God and his peace.

+ When and where will we flee every day this week?
+ When and how often will we silence our mouths and our hearts to hear others and the Lord himself?
+ What heart-prayers will we begin to pray continually?

MONO

Dear friends,

I have been diagnosed with infectious mononucleosis.

Please pray that my symptoms don't worsen, that I take care of myself, that I do my homework diligently, suffer joyfully and gracefully, and be freed from selfishness.

Thank you, and life, peace, mercy and health be to all.

"Lord God, your Son our Savior gave his back to be whipped and his face to be spit upon; give us grace to accept joyfully the sufferings of the present time, confident of the glory that shall be revealed, through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen."

Thanks be to God (1)

Last night, as my roommate and I were delighting ourselves in the Lord, he gave us the desire of our heart.

We were in our room, lights out, ready to sleep, praying. One of our suite-mates was whistling and carrying on a conversation outside in the living area. Mid-prayer, my roommate asked, ". . . and quite honestly, Lord, that whoever's making noise out there would shut up." To the surprise and delight of our ears, just moments after we prayed that, the whistling stopped and they went into their room and closed the door. We thanked the Lord then and there.

I don't know how likely it is that our suite-mate could have heard my room-mate say "shut up." Our doors are made of heavy, solid wood, we were more moaning than speaking, but my roommate did emphasize those words with more volume. It doesn't matter--whether he heard us or not, our prayer was answered, and for that we were thankful.

Please pray for me.

Friends, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers,

Life in general is good. I am learning a lot about life, people, myself, love, listening, and church. And I am learning in school, although I could be trying harder, being more diligent. School is going well this semester, better than it has this past year. Also, I am learning to not be a perfectionist, though I need constant reminder to keep myself from this idol.

As I attempt to observe a holy Lent for the sake of obedience and love, my sins and shortcomings are coming to light, and temptation and inner struggle are frequent. Surprise! I just thought it was a quaint devotion to say that 40 days of prayer and fasting in Spring (this is what Lent means, when the days lengthen) remember Jesus' 40-day fast in the wilderness. But now, in its midst, I can see much truth in that. I hope that by passion week I can trust in Jesus, the Son of God: 1) for the word of God, and not only food or miracles; 2) in humiliation, rather than ostentatious display of power; and 3) for God's glory, and not the kingdoms of this world.

Acknowledging my utter dependence upon God's consistent help and your regular prayers, please pray that:
- God give me a sufficient to abundant supply of faith [trusting God], hope and love
- God keep me rejoicing always, praying continually, and giving thanks in every circumstance, since this is what he wants me to do in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
- God give me diligence in schoolwork, and self-discipline and self-control in all things
- God teach me to love him with all my capacity, and to love my neighbor as myself (especially the church, and especially those who do not love me, with whom I have no business)

Thank you, in advance, for loving me through prayer.

Be like God . . .

. . . quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

Pithy quote by Yours truly #2

"Fluorescent light does not deserve the time of day."

PRAY.